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Robinwood Medicine

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This is the broken-hearted edge of Robinwood.⁣ ⁣I haven’t been able to talk about this all that much.⁣ ⁣I hold an incredible amount of grief over this one. ⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣When I found this land, this little piece of paradise, it was surrounded by forest, at least a kilometre deep on all sides. A winding road through the woods led to a light filled meadow on the edge of a river, and I knew it was home. Recently, Robinwood’s borders have been defined in the most traumatic way as neighbours on both sides have decided to clearcut. About 300 acres of mossy green giants, magic groves, elk haven, swamp forest, and the heron woods are all gone, trucked away for money and lying in wasteful ugly heaps. Everyday I leave home or wander our paths, I am reminded, triggered, and numbed. I don’t wander the paths as much as I used to. I don’t recognize the land. Right to the edge of our north and east borders, every last tree has been killed. Only the trees that belong to us, or us to them, only the trees of Robinwood remain. ⁣ ⁣I don’t understand it, not in my heart. I don’t think I ever will. ⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣Sure I’ve experienced a lot of loss in my life; my mother, my best friend, my favourite dog, boyfriends, ex-boyfriend’s moms…. and this time it may be not a person, but it’s hit me hard. Really hard. So the lesson I am facing, again, AGAIN!!?? Yes, is this; You, Rachel, are a tender heart, and ever so vulnerable when you are this full of love. You can’t control life, you are going to lose some things that matter so much to you, and you are going to have to go on. You are going to have to let go. You are going to have to look at what you have left, and breathe in some gratitude. Hold fast to your family, your trees, your sanctuary. You will be stronger for it. And when you are ready, no matter how long it takes you are going straighten up, wipe your face, and let out a deep deep exhale of acceptance. See the opening. There’s mountains and sky. Something new will grow.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣#robinwood #saveourforests #savetheplanet #wearenature #brokenheart #devestation #reallifemonsters #thereisaidit The eerie November light, the ghosts of summer. Rot. Death.This is the garden full of waiting life, of energy moving down into roots. And little by little, ever so slowly I am tucking it all in for winter. ⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣This is my medicine garden, yes, the plants here, but also the process. Right now I am going crazy with trying to balance myself. I am finding only the tiniest windows to till the soil, to pull weeds and bury the beds in leaves, plan for transplants. Because I am a mother, full time. Which is to say, I surrender my time. I never could have imagined how that would feel. Did you not warn me of this????⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣Yah my days with my sweet baby are enriching, but robbing. So simple but so challenging. Excruciatingly boring, and completely rewarding. Joy and frustration all through the day. Time that passes so fast yet so slow. Baby steps. Tiny fingers pulling me away from everything but the moment at hand…. ⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣I’m going to be amazed and awestruck if I can get this garden all tidied up for winter. I’m going to be over the moon if I can get as far as my vision for expansion and improvement. I’m going to keep at it, because I need this medicine. I need to keep the balance. And every day there’s a tiny window where dreams become possible. …I have to keep that in mind, and I know, I know, it’s all in my power. I’m not even going to begin to dream of when I will have time to paint again, just let me get dirty in the garden, that’s all. ⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣I’m in the midst of writing my motherhood manifesto, but I would love to hear how any of you other mummas found the balance, didn’t give it all away, braved the struggle, made it through. Tell me something, anything… Please!!!! -A little call for help, from this witch of Robinwood. xoxo⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣#robinwood #motherhood #balance #robinwoodfarm #gettingcozy #motherhoodmanifesto #ilovemygarden #herbalmedicine #chestnutherbalimmersion #novembergarden #offgridhomestead ⁣ ⁣ This is 40. What can I say? You can’t have everything, but you can have this. Birthday wishes coming in from far and wide, blueberry tarts, time in the garden, a hot hot bath, and my little family tucked in so cozy. This old gal is feeling the love and sending love from Robinwood. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣#robinwood #thisis40 #robinwoodfarm #offgridhomestead Doug is a silly, flouncy, beatnik dog. He’s the dog who all other dogs love to hump. He’s overly friendly, sweet, and a total push-over. He’s also a really great guard dog. The other night, he insisted on keeping watch as Arrowynn and I took our evening bath at the bathhouse, and when we walked back to the cabin in the darkness, (I had forgotten a headlamp, and didn’t turn any lights on inside the cabin) Doug chased off a big creature from just behind the cabin as we approached. I think it was a bear. What a guy, eh? And, also he can climb ladders. He is one amazing lil’ doofus! ⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣.⁣ ⁣#robinwood #ilovemydog #standardschnauzer #standardschnauzersofinstagram
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